Crime Wave in Festus

14 Jun

A number of high-profile criminal incidents have happened in Festus recently. Let’s review:

  • June 9, an armed robbery occurred at the Payless Shoe Source. An arrest does not seem to have been made. It’s not clear what the robber made off with, either.
  • June 10, a man was shot and wounded during a drug deal in a bathroom at Wal-mart. The suspects were arrested, but have been released pending charges. The victim seems to be OK. Hilariously, “the boundary between Festus and Crystal City runs through the middle of the store, but because the shooting happened in the north end of the building, it falls under the jurisdiction of Festus police.” So in what aisle is the boundary? Housewares?
  • June 11, a man showed a gun at the Steak N’ Shake, then led officers on a chase, crashed the car, then forced his way into an apartment and held two kids hostage before surrendering to police.

Hide your kids, hide your wife, Festusians (is that what they’re called?).

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